Originally published at Fiction Portfolio. Please leave any comments there.

I will probably never write more on this or create a stand-alone story for it, but I thought I’d share anyway. Hope you like it.

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Gravity hurts. Having the air knocked out of your lungs, feeling your chest heave with the force of the impact, and experiencing that outer body moment as you kind of watch yourself fall down. Hard and fast but also slow all within the same fragment of a second. And then you blink…that’s when you hit the ground. That’s when life begins again.

I should backtrack to before I lay sprawled across the pavement to the second I realize my insignificance or better yet the depth of my stupidity. Never had I considered the notion of being naïve. Not even the time when I was twelve and my father announced he was leaving to be with his new found same-sex lover, not even when I walked in on my mother having sex with my uncle, not even the time I found out my fourteen year old sister was pregnant from my boyfriend. The idea of these situations being more – more than lies, more than outspokenness, more than painful, more than plain ol’ sex – had never even entered my mind. All that I could think about was how much my father hurt my mother’s pride by leaving us for her hair stylist named Vergil. All that was going through my mind while I stared at my mother humping my uncle was how disgusting their actions were. All I could grasp was how people were going to gossip about my slut of a sister sleeping with my boyfriend. Never did I in those moments – and the moments that followed after – think about the why.

Logic would indicate that everything has a reason: that everything has an underlying motive behind it.

In this non-conventional place of all places, the realization finally dawned on me. Sitting on the toilet I read the message, in purple marker written on the bathroom stall, about Cindy Lauren being bisexual. All I could think about was how this affected me. Cindy Lauren slept over my house. Cindy Lauren had been my friend since middle school. Cindy Lauren was bisexual and we were connected to by the hip. This would translate to me being her closet lesbian lover. Word would spread like wildfire – if it hadn’t done so already – and I would be in the mouth of everyone in this school by the time lunch rolled around.

Long story short…all I could think about was how Cindy Lauren’s sexual preference decision was fucking my life over. Because as an anomie of society that was the way I was accustomed to responding. I was shooting her down for her choices – no – it wasn’t her choices that I was shooting down. Cindy was going against the norm – just like my father, mother, uncle, sister, and boyfriend – and that was why she had to be degraded to someone who was worth less than dirt.

And that’s when it happened. With my panties around my knees, the earth shook under my feet and I was slapped in the face with what I can only imagine to be a cold dead fish. After that there was nothing. Silence. My mouth hung open as my eyes fixated themselves in a singular spot without falter; all the while my mind had begun doing cartwheels.

I, Arianna Tabb, am nothing but a string-along puppet for society.

I, Arianna Tabb, am nothing.

This post is password protected. You can read it at Fiction Portfolio, where it was originally posted. Please leave any comments there.

Originally published at Fiction Portfolio. Please leave any comments there.

I am slowly arising from the ashes of my long hiatus period. Though I have yet to actually sit down and write something, I do feel slightly more motivated to do so. It’s like I have tons among tons of actual plot ideas, but when it comes down to writing them it becomes nearly impossible. Besides that, I haven’t even gotten a chance to actually finish up this website. There is still tons of things I have to add. Maybe – hopefully – April will bring me better luck with my goals!

Originally published at Fiction Portfolio. Please leave any comments there.

VOTE FOR MY STORY AT THE SKOW AWARDS – ONESHOT STORY BUBBLEGUM PINK IN THE BEST CHALLENGE RESPONSE! LINK HERE!

Originally published at Fiction Portfolio. Please leave any comments there.

It goes without saying that I did not finish my Nano novel :( I am so disappointed with myself, but I guess that’s what I get for not planning before hand. In my defense, November was very crazy for me since I was relocating to a new job and all. But I did write 11k for that novel, which I am somewhat proud of since I wrote it during a two-week time period. However in the time period of November to right now, I have grown very tired of the novel (and I’m hardly three chapters into it). It is not something that I believe could be published, which was my goal for doing Nano in the first place. Maybe I need a ‘break’ from it. I am still in the love with the plot, but the execution is not going as I envisioned.

Anyway I will break away from it for a few months and work on other projects…like PURSUIT! Right now I am working on chapter 2 and I hope to have it up within the next week or so. This is already shaping out to be an amazing piece for me on a personal level.

There are probably a lot more people I have no bothered to personally mention – sorry – you are just not worth the effort to write about. Everyone else in my life besides those mentioned were just passing faces that in all honesty I have no recollections of names to attach. But it is important for the rest of you to know that never did one of you pull something over on me. I saw you put those items in my locker and backpack. I heard you talk about me behind my back. I felt those paper planes hit me on the back of my head. Don’t for a second think any of you were sly or funny or even cunning.

The decision to end my life involves no second or third party.

For those who have read this – whether addressed to them or not – please try and understand. I am not a weak person who has merely given up on life. Rather I have speeded up the process of arriving to the after life. Every one will die eventually; I have just punched my ticket in before the due date. None of you will probably have any idea how hard it was to go through with this. I mean this in the literal sense. This was not a spur of the moment idea thought up doing a bad day. I had more than enough time to think about this, especially doing the time of cutting through my wrists. All I had was that stupid pink lady daisy razor. I killed myself with a pink razor decorated with plastic daisies. It took hours just break through the skin. Maybe drinking poison would have been easier or perhaps hanging myself from the ceiling fan would have a wiser choice. Too late now. Heh. Death by fruity razor, heck of a way to go.

I guess this is the part I say goodbye and just for dramatic effect I’ll say, until never again.

Originally published at Fiction Portfolio. Please leave any comments there.

November is within touching distance and that brings to mind only one thing: nanowrimo! While yes that means even less time for fanfiction, it does come with some good news. After all at the end of November I should have a completed (or nearly completed) new original piece. I am unsure of whether or not I should try getting my nano novel published or just end up posting it online. It depends on the feedback I receive for it I guess.

FYI: some information can be found on the nano novel entitled Defense Mechanism on the page.

In other news, this portfolio is coming along quite nicely but it is far from being completed. More than 50% of the pages are missing: I am still typing up all the pages whenever I have free minute which isn’t often. I will try my honest to bestest to get the photo gallery up with at least some albums around the end of this month. Don’t hold your breathe on it though.

Originally published at Fiction Portfolio. Please leave any comments there.

I decided to begin this fanfiction portfolio because my Covenant fanfiction have become rather popluar and I thought they deserved an awesome tribute. Here you will find visual character images, playlists, and other information per each story. I am still building this website so right now it is rather empty. Bare with me as I slowly begin adding everything. This website is dedicated to all those wonderful people who are so kind as to leave me a review. I love you guys and without you I would not be writing – thank you!